Bashkim Saliasi<\/p>\n
KRITIKA, ARMA Q\u00cb VRET, BUZ\u00cbQESHJA \u00cbSHT\u00cb AJO, Q\u00cb T\u00cb B\u00cbN T\u00cb LUMTUR N\u00cb JET\u00cb<\/p>\n
T\u00eb kritikosh t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb veprim i men\u00e7ur. Kritika nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb veprim i men\u00e7ur sepse e shtyn ata q\u00eb kritikon, t\u00eb mbrohet dhe t\u00eb justifikohet, \u00ebsht\u00eb e rrezikshme sepse prek te njeriu, q\u00eb kritikon krenarin dhe krijon pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi.
\nN\u00eb gjermani \u00ebsht\u00eb e ndaluar t\u00eb kritikosh personin pasi ka ndodhur nj\u00eb ngjarje. N\u00ebqoft\u00ebse kritika b\u00ebhet me nj\u00eb her\u00eb d\u00ebnohet ai q\u00eb kritikon dhe jo ai q\u00eb ka gabuar. Sa dometh\u00ebn\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo ligj\u00ebsi e cila ju jep mund\u00ebsi njerz\u00ebve q\u00eb t\u00eb rregullojn\u00eb marrdh\u00ebniet nd\u00ebrmjet tyre. Ne njer\u00ebzit e vdeksh\u00ebm jemi t\u00eb gjith\u00eb nj\u00ebsoj: gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb gatsh\u00ebm t\u00eb kritikojm\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.
\nNjeriu kur mendon se do kritikoj\u00eb dik\u00eb le t\u00eb kujtoj nj\u00eb her\u00eb veten se si duhet t\u00eb sillet ai kur e kritikojn\u00eb at\u00eb. Njer\u00ebriu duhet t\u00eb bindet se kritika \u00ebsht\u00eb si ai plumbi, q\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb rikoshet dhe vret at\u00eb q\u00eb e zbraz revolen.
\n\u201cMos gjyko, q\u00eb mos t\u00eb jesh i gjykuar!\u201d. Ta gjykosh tjetrin p\u00ebr veprimin, q\u00eb ka kryer \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00ebsoj si ta pushkatosh, dhe kur je para pushkatimit do mundohesh t\u00eb gjesh t\u00eb gjitha mund\u00ebsit p\u00ebr t\u00eb shp\u00ebtuar. Pra nga i akuzuar do kthehesh n\u00eb akuzues.
\nKur duam t\u00eb shmangim hat\u00ebrmbetjet, q\u00eb mund t\u00eb zgjasin disa dhjet\u00ebvje\u00e7ar, \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb ta p\u00ebrmbajm\u00eb veten, q\u00eb mos t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb kritika dhe mos i japim me leht\u00ebsi m\u00ebsime tjetrit edhe p\u00ebrse mund ti meritoj\u00eb. T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb ti trajtom\u00eb ashtu sikund\u00ebr d\u00ebshironim t\u00eb na tajtonin dhe ne. Po ta mendojm\u00eb thell – thell kemi t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb me nj\u00eb q\u00ebnie q\u00eb qeveriset, jo vet\u00ebm nga logjika, por edhe nga pasionet. Nj\u00eb proverb shkodrane thot\u00eb: \u201cMos t\u00eb hyft\u00eb vetja n\u00eb qejf se thyen kok\u00ebn\u201d.
\nKritika \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb mjet i rreziksh\u00ebm, e aft\u00eb t\u00eb provokoj\u00eb nj\u00eb shp\u00ebrthim n\u00eb egon e nj\u00eb personi, shp\u00ebrthimin q\u00eb mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb pasoj\u00eb edhe vdekjen. Njeriu, n\u00eb sensin e mir\u00eb t\u00eb fjal\u00ebs nuk ka p\u00ebrse t\u00eb flas keq p\u00ebr tjetrin sepse dashje padashje fjala i vete n\u00eb vesh dhe sjell vet\u00ebm
\nkonflikte dhe m\u00ebri. Nj\u00eb proverb nga tepelena thot\u00eb: \u201cdoli fjala nga dh\u00ebmballa e mori vesh t\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00ebhalla\u201d.
\nNga pikpamja personale \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e leht\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshosh veten sesa t\u00eb mundohesh t\u00eb kritikosh dhe ndryshosh t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Mendoj se tjetrit duhet ti z\u00ebm\u00ebrohesh aq sa peshon dhe nuk ke arsye p\u00ebrse t\u00eb konfliktohesh me t\u00eb. Po t\u00eb sjellim n\u00eb mendje proverb\u00ebn angleze: \u201c T\u00eb kuptosh gjith\u00e7ka, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb fal\u00ebsh gjith\u00e7ka\u201d. Mos harrojm\u00eb se njeriu lufton q\u00eb gjith\u00ebkund t\u00eb jet\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm. D\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebn\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nga ndryshimet thelb\u00ebsore nd\u00ebrmjet njeriut dhe kafsh\u00ebve.
\nPra shprehja m\u00eb thuaj se si e plot\u00ebson d\u00ebshir\u00ebn t\u00ebnde p\u00ebr t'u dukur i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb them se kush je. Kjo p\u00ebrcakton karakterin dhe personalitetin t\u00ebnd. N\u00eb jet\u00ebn e p\u00ebrditshme na takon t\u00eb takojm\u00eb lloj-lloj personash, por ajo q\u00eb un\u00eb v\u00eb re \u00ebsht\u00eb se t\u00eb gjith\u00eb d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb t\u00eb flasin vet\u00eb dhe tjetri duhet t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb koplimenta ti b\u00ebjm\u00eb bashk\u00ebbiseduesit aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb do i adhurojn\u00eb fjal\u00ebt tona, i cili do i mbaj mend dhe kur ne i kemi harruar pas disa vitesh.
\n\u00cbsht\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme se sa shpejt\u00eb harrojm\u00eb. N\u00ebse d\u00ebshirojm\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb miq nuk duhet t\u00eb fillojm\u00eb, t\u00eb pretendojm\u00eb q\u00eb ata t\u00eb interesohen p\u00ebr ne dhe p\u00ebr pun\u00ebt tona. M\u00ebnyra m\u00eb e mir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ta ndjek\u00ebsh me v\u00ebm\u00ebndje bised\u00ebn dhe tia aprovosh at\u00eb. Q\u00eb t\u00eb kesh shum\u00eb miq \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb me njer\u00ebzit t\u00eb p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetesh me dashamir\u00ebsi. P\u00ebrdorimi i shprehjeve: \u201cJa ku jam n\u00eb dispozicionin tuaj\u201d, krijon afrimitet dhe ngjallin ndjenj\u00ebn e besueshm\u00ebris\u00eb. Buz\u00ebqeshja flet\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se nj\u00eb mij\u00eb fjal\u00eb.
\nVite m\u00eb par\u00eb kur ikja p\u00ebr n\u00eb pun\u00eb p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetesha me gruan me shprehjen: Mirupafshim. Vitet e fundit kur un\u00eb u gjenda larg n\u00eb pun\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebngjez jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetem me gruan, por puthemi nj\u00ebri-tjetrin. Ndihem mir\u00eb dhe dita kalon p\u00ebr bukuri.
\nKur ndodh q\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetemi me nj\u00ebri tjetrin dita m\u00eb duket e gjat\u00eb dhe m\u00ebrzit\u00ebshme. Nj\u00eb proverb kineze thot\u00eb: se kush nuk di t\u00eb buzqesh\u00eb, nuk duhet t\u00eb hap\u00eb dyqan. T\u00eb buzqesh\u00ebsh do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se je krenar dhe rrit sasin e prodhimit t\u00eb adrenalin\u00ebs n\u00eb gjak. Ti th\u00ebrras\u00ebsh tjetrit n\u00eb em\u00ebr tregon afri dhe ngjall respekt dhe p\u00ebrq\u00ebnderim v\u00ebmendje.
\nNjeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb krenar p\u00ebr emrin e tij, sa do ta p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsoi me t\u00eb gjitha m\u00ebnyrat.
\nP\u00ebr nj\u00eb njeri emri \u00ebsht\u00eb tingulli m\u00eb i bukur p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Q\u00eb t\u00eb ndjihesh i af\u00ebrt me dik \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb se e domosdoshme q\u00eb ti mbash mend emrin dhe akoma m\u00eb e mir\u00eb kur fikson emrin e f\u00ebmijve dhe t\u00eb gruas.
\nT\u00eb gjith\u00eb jemi kureshtar n\u00ebse na d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb kur flasim dhe sa vemendje na kushtojn\u00eb. Ajo, q\u00eb duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb kur dikush flet \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb tjetrin ta shikosh n\u00eb sy dhe me vemendje t\u00eb plot\u00eb maksimale.
\nQ\u00eb t\u00eb kesh sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb shok e miq \u00ebsht\u00eb e nevojshme t\u00eb jesh nj\u00eb d\u00ebgjues i mir\u00eb dhe ta inkujarosh tjetrin t\u00eb flas vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr veten. Bised\u00ebn me bashk\u00ebbiseduesin e b\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00eb interesante problemi q\u00eb i intereson atij. Q\u00eb ta b\u00ebsh tjetrin q\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb duhet t\u00eb mos e
\nnd\u00ebrpres\u00ebsh dhe ti aprovosh mendimet pa e fyer dhe e nd\u00ebrprer gjat\u00eb bised\u00ebs, k\u00ebshtu fitoni respektin e tij.
\nSi mund ta b\u00ebni nj\u00eb grua q\u00eb t'ju dashuroj\u00eb?
\nSekreti \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm q\u00eb ta shtysh femr\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb flas p\u00ebr veten e saj dhe ta d\u00ebgjosh me kujdes dhe ti aprovosh ato q\u00eb thot\u00eb. E nj\u00ebjta metod\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr burrat, po ti flas\u00ebsh p\u00ebr veten e tij dhe ato q\u00eb i interesojn\u00eb, ai do tu d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb p\u00ebr or\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra. Q\u00ebllimi \u00ebsht\u00eb, q\u00eb tjetri t\u00eb ndihet njer\u00ebzor dhe i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm! T\u00eb debatosh me tjertin do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb kesh siguri p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb diskuton dhe ti jap\u00ebsh zgjidhjen q\u00eb bashk\u00ebbiseduesit ti interesoj dhe mos ta kund\u00ebrshtosh pa baza. Kur tjetri ngul k\u00ebmb\u00eb p\u00ebr problemin q\u00eb diskutohet se e v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebshtu dhe n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ai \u00ebsht\u00eb gabim duhet ta pranosh dhe mos konfliktohesh me t\u00eb se nuk fiton gj\u00eb, por p\u00ebrkundrazi ngjall m\u00ebll\u00ebf dhe urrejtje.
\nE th\u00ebn\u00eb ndryshe humbet nj\u00eb mik dhe nuk do kesh miq\u00ebsin e kund\u00ebrshtarit t\u00ebnd. M\u00eb shum\u00eb vlen nj\u00eb miq\u00ebsi e re sesa nj\u00eb fitore akademike.
\nM\u00ebnyra m\u00eb e mir\u00eb t\u00eb dal\u00ebsh nga nj\u00eb debat \u00ebsht\u00eb ta evitosh at\u00eb, -shkruan Dale Carngie. Q\u00eb t\u00eb jesh i mirpritur n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin e tjetrit nuk duhet filluar biseda, q\u00eb dua t'ju tregoj k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb apo at\u00eb gj\u00eb.
\nKjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb sfid\u00eb q\u00eb ngjall n\u00eb shpirtin e kund\u00ebrshtarit, bashk\u00ebbisedues d\u00ebshir\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb debatuar, p\u00ebrpara se t\u00eb flisni. Sokrati u thoshte gjithmon\u00eb dishepujve t\u00eb tij n\u00eb Athin\u00eb: \u201cDi nj\u00eb gj\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk di asgj\u00eb\u201d. Pra, un\u00eb mund t\u00eb mendoj\u00eb ndryshe, por dhe m\u00eb ndodh shpesh t\u00eb jem gabim, dhe do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb bindesha p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb. Kjo fraz\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb mrekullira, sepse tjetri nuk ta merr p\u00ebr t\u00eb keq dhe t\u00eb d\u00ebgjon me v\u00ebmendje p\u00ebr problemin q\u00eb diskuton. Individ\u00ebt e llogjiksh\u00ebm jan\u00eb t\u00eb pakt\u00eb, shumica jan\u00eb t\u00eb paragjykuesh\u00ebm, t\u00eb mbushur me lloj-lloj konceptesh, ndjenjash xhelozie, dyshimi, frike, zilie, krenarie etj. K\u00ebta lloj njer\u00ebzish mbrojn\u00eb fort\u00eb opsionet e tyre.
\nNuk jan\u00eb idet q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7muara, por \u00ebsht\u00eb egoja e njeriut q\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnohet nga rreziku q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb pranojm\u00eb se kemi gabuar. Njeriu k\u00ebshtu \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb. Kur kemi gabuar at\u00eb mund ta pranojm\u00eb kur flasim me nj\u00eb mik t\u00eb ngusht q\u00eb ia hapim zemr\u00ebn dhe na e hap at\u00eb duke
\npranuar k\u00ebshillat e nj\u00ebri tjetrit. Gabimi pranohet kur na e thon\u00eb me mirsjellje dhe nuk pranohet kurr duke ta p\u00ebrplasur n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb. Nj\u00eb rast q\u00eb m\u00eb kujtohet nga jeta ime n\u00eb vitet e para t\u00eb pun\u00ebs, kur un\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt i shikoja se dinin pak dhe un\u00eb dija m\u00eb shum\u00eb shpesh n\u00ebp\u00ebr mbledhje i kritikoja ashp\u00ebr p\u00ebr rezultatet e ulta q\u00eb kishin n\u00eb l\u00ebnd\u00ebt e tyre dhe n\u00eb l\u00ebnd\u00ebt e mija nx\u00ebn\u00ebsit kishin rezultate t\u00eb larta. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb nj\u00eb miku im m\u00eb ftoi t\u00eb pinim nj\u00eb got\u00eb raki dhe n\u00eb bised\u00eb e sip\u00ebr me shum\u00eb mirsjellje m\u00eb thot\u00eb.
\n\u201cJeni b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb i besdish\u00ebm n\u00eb kolektiv\u201d.
\nJu, kund\u00ebrshtoni t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata q\u00eb nuk kan\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin mendim me ju dhe koleg\u00ebt tuaj ndihen m\u00eb mir\u00eb kur ti nuk ndodhesh i pranish\u00ebm n\u00eb ambjentet ku ata rrin\u00eb dhe diskutojn\u00eb p\u00ebr probleme t\u00eb ndryshme.
\nTi mendon se di gjith\u00e7ka, n\u00eb shum\u00eb fusha t\u00eb jet\u00ebs dhe askush nuk ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtoj\u00eb, sepse e ka t\u00eb humbur davan\u00eb. Po t\u00eb vazhdosh k\u00ebshtu do t\u00eb ngelesh vet\u00ebm dhe nuk do kesh asnj\u00eb shok\u00eb e shoqe. E d\u00ebgjova me shum\u00eb vemendje dhe q\u00eb nga ai moment e detyrova veten q\u00eb t\u00eb hiqa dor\u00eb nga kund\u00ebrshtit\u00eb e mendimeve kundra. Shum\u00eb shpejt\u00eb pash se bashk\u00ebbisedimi me koleg\u00ebt ishte i k\u00ebnd\u00ebshm dhe mendimet q\u00eb un\u00eb shprehja mi pranonin me shum\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi. Ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb ka mbetur n\u00eb mendje \u00ebsht\u00eb se kur kund\u00ebrshtarit i jep t\u00eb drejt\u00eb ai shum\u00eb shpejt\u00eb do b\u00ebhet miku juaj. N\u00eb asnj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb nuk i thuhet tjetrit hapur se e ke gabim.
\nT\u00eb b\u00ebsh autokritik \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00ebsoj sikur t\u00eb fal\u00ebsh dhe t\u00eb qet\u00ebsosh shpirtin. T\u00eb flas\u00ebsh me sinqeritet me miqt\u00eb dhe t\u00eb prek\u00ebsh zemrat e tyre do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb ke krijuar popullaritet dhe t\u00eb gjith\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb gatsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar. T\u00eb pranosh gabimin me sinqeritet do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb
\nfitosh lumturin\u00eb e humbur. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb pakson armiq\u00ebt dhe rreth teje do mblidhen m\u00eb shum\u00eb miq. Po t\u00eb kemi n\u00eb konsiderat th\u00ebnien e Linkolnit se: \u201cNj\u00eb pik\u00eb mjalt\u00eb t\u00ebrheq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr miza se sa nj\u00eb lit\u00ebr uthull\u201d, do dalim n\u00eb p\u00ebrfundim se pika e mjaltit do fitoj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb zemra dhe k\u00ebshtu do kemi m\u00eb shum\u00eb miq se sa armiq.
\nSa dometh\u00ebnse \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrralla me diellin dhe er\u00ebn se, kush \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i fort\u00eb nga k\u00ebta t\u00eb dy. \u201cEra i thoshte diellit sa e forta jam un\u00eb se ty\u201d. E shikon at\u00eb plakun atje, un\u00eb e b\u00ebj\u00eb q\u00eb ta zhvesh pallton m\u00eb shpejt\u00eb se ty dhe filloj\u00eb t\u00eb fryj\u00eb me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb forc\u00ebn e saj, por sa m\u00eb tep\u00ebr frynte, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb plaku mb\u00ebshtillej me pallton e tij. N\u00eb fund era u dor\u00ebzua. At\u00ebher\u00eb dielli doli mbrapa reve ku ishte fshehur dhe hodhi rrezet e tij mbi plakun ngadal\u00eb e but\u00ebsisht. Plaku ndjeu t\u00eb ngroht\u00eb dhe e hoqi pallton. Dielli i tha er\u00ebs me mir\u00ebdashje arrihet m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, se sa me rr\u00ebmbimin e zemr\u00ebs. Mir\u00ebsjellja dhe mir\u00ebkuptimi mund t\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojm\u00eb mendim shum\u00eb m\u00eb leht\u00eb se t\u00eb gjitha detyrimet e grindjet e bot\u00ebs. Kinez\u00ebt kan\u00eb nj\u00eb proverb q\u00eb pasqyron gjith\u00eb men\u00e7urin\u00eb e pandryshuar t\u00eb Orientit\u201d \u201cKush ec\u00ebn ngadal\u00eb, shkon larg dhe sh\u00ebndosh e mir\u00eb\u201d. E kuptuar ndryshe kjo proverb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, q\u00eb gjat\u00eb bashk\u00ebbisedimit me kund\u00ebrshtarin t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb t\u00eb mundur, q\u00eb ai q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim t\u00eb bised\u00ebs t\u00eb thot\u00eb\u201dpo\u201d.
\nRushefuko, filozofi i madh francez thoshte: \u201cn\u00ebse doni t\u00eb krijoni armiq tregohuni superior ndaj miqve tuaj; n\u00ebse doni t\u00eb b\u00ebni miq l\u00ebrini miqt\u00eb tuaj t\u00eb ndihen superior ndaj jush\u201d.
\nKur miqt\u00eb na e kalojn\u00eb n\u00eb di\u00e7ka, ata ndihen t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm dhe kjo i shtyn ata t\u00eb jen\u00eb bamir\u00ebs, nd\u00ebrsa kur ne i kap\u00ebrcejm\u00eb ata, lind n\u00eb shpirtin e tyre nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb inferioriteti q\u00eb pastaj sjell xhelozin\u00eb dhe zilin\u00eb. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se na takon, kur bashk\u00ebbiseduesi, q\u00eb jemi duke
\nfolur e ka gabim, por me t\u00eb tij\u00ebn ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i bindur se mendimin e shpreh drejt\u00eb nuk duhet ta
\nd\u00ebnojm\u00eb sepse e ulim n\u00eb personalitet dhe e b\u00ebjm\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb ndihet keq.
\nSuksesi n\u00eb jet\u00eb varet m\u00eb shum\u00eb nga aft\u00ebsia, p\u00ebr t\u00eb vler\u00ebsuar gj\u00ebrat nga k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimi i personave t\u00eb tier\u00eb. Pra e th\u00ebn\u00eb ndryshe ti l\u00ebm t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb bashk\u00ebbiseduesi sikur, idet\u00eb kane lindur nga ai!
\nQ\u00eb t;ju duan dhe tu d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb, q\u00eb bised\u00ebn ta nisim me shprehjen: \u201cNuk ju v\u00eb faj aspak n\u00ebse mendoni n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, po t\u00eb isha n\u00eb vendin tuaj ka mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb t\u00eb mendoja dhe un\u00eb k\u00ebshtu\u201d.
\nK\u00ebto fjal\u00eb e qet\u00ebsojn\u00eb si me magji dhe njeriun m\u00eb grindavec qoft\u00eb. T\u00eb ngjall\u00ebsh simpatin te njer\u00ebzit e tjer\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se ke fituar krebilitet dhe je i mir\u00ebpritur n\u00eb \u00e7do rrethan\u00eb. Njer\u00ebzimi e k\u00ebrkon dhe e d\u00ebshiron\u00eb me zjarr simpatin\u00eb. P\u00ebr tu b\u00ebr\u00eb i adhuruesh\u00ebm nga t\u00eb
\ntjer\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb e nevojsh\u00ebme t\u00eb shprehim simpati p\u00ebr mendimet dhe d\u00ebshirat e t\u00eb tyre! Ta vras\u00ebsh tjetrin me pambuk, thot\u00eb populli yn\u00eb. Pra m\u00eb e mira do ishte q\u00eb tjetrit t'ja v\u00ebm n\u00eb dukje t\u00eb metat indirekt dhe pa e prekur at\u00eb. N\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb kuptimit t\u00eb riparimit t\u00eb t\u00eb metave
\n\u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh p\u00ebr t\u00eb metat e tua p\u00ebrpara se t\u00eb kritikojm\u00eb tjetrin dhe mos t\u00eb prekim t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt n\u00eb krenarin e tyre.
\nPara se t\u00eb b\u00ebsh pyetjen duhet t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitesh p\u00ebr p\u00ebrgjigjen q\u00eb do marr\u00ebsh. Pyetja sa m\u00eb e shkurt\u00ebr t\u00eb jet\u00eb aq m\u00eb dimeth\u00ebnse \u00ebsht\u00eb. Ti jap\u00ebsh tjetrit p\u00ebrshtypjen se ka di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbrojtur, largoni hat\u00ebrmbetjen dhe m\u00ebrzin e cila ndikon direkt n\u00eb sjelljen e tij karshi jush.
\nM\u00ebnyra m\u00eb e mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb eleminuar t\u00eb metat \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb ta ikurajojm\u00eb bashk\u00ebbiseduesin q\u00eb t\u00eb metat ti duken t\u00eb lehta p\u00ebr tu korigjuar dhe propozimi juaj ti jap k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi, k\u00ebshtu ai do ndihet krenar dhe do k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb q\u00eb tju takoj\u00eb dhe t\u00eb bisedoj\u00eb m\u00eb shpesh sepse fiton besim dhe
\nrespekt karshi jush. Egoizmi dhe xhelozia kan\u00eb shkat\u00ebrruar bura shteti, artist e shkrimtar t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenj.
\nRasti i Napolonit t\u00eb III-t\u00eb t\u00eb Franc\u00ebs q\u00eb u martua me Eugjenian, q\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb e bukur dhe n\u00eb vitet e para t\u00eb martes\u00ebs kalonin p\u00ebr bukuri zjarri i dashuris u shua shum\u00eb shpejt\u00eb, kur ajo filloi t\u00eb b\u00ebhej xheloze, grindej dhe ankohej vazhdimisht.
\nE brejtur nga xhelozia dhe dyshimet, Eugjenia e bukur nuk kujdesej p\u00ebr porosit e burrit. E shqet\u00ebsonte vazhdimisht, hynte n\u00eb zyr\u00ebn e tij kur ishte i z\u00ebn\u00eb me pun\u00ebt e shtetit, nuk e linte kurr\u00eb vet\u00ebm , nga frika se mund t\u00eb takonte gra t\u00eb tjera.
\nE persekutonte dhe e bezdiste burrin e saj aq sa, Napoloni, pronar i dymb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb k\u00ebshtiellave madhshtore, nuk kishte nj\u00eb vrim\u00eb ku mund t\u00eb rrinte i qet\u00eb. Napoloni fshehurazi dilte nga pallati i shoq\u00ebruar nga ndonj\u00eb mik besnik e shkonte e gjente shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb e ndonj\u00eb gruaje t\u00eb bukur, apo b\u00ebnte xhiro n\u00ebp\u00ebr qytet p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr frym\u00eb lirisht\u00eb. Eugjenia ishte nj\u00eb grua e bukur. Ajo kishte hipur n\u00eb fronin e Franc\u00ebs, por as mbret\u00ebrimi, as bukuria nuk mund t\u00eb mbanin gjall\u00eb flak\u00ebn e dashuris\u00eb n\u00eb mes gjith\u00ebn atyre skena grindjesh.
\nSherri i vazhduesh\u00ebm \u00ebsht\u00eb vdekjeprur\u00ebs, ai vret e zhduk k\u00ebdo. Gruaja e kontit Leon Tolstoi, fatkeq\u00ebsisht\u00eb e kuptoi k\u00ebt\u00eb fakt kur ishte shum\u00eb von\u00eb, dhe, n\u00eb shtratin e vdekjes iu rr\u00ebfye vajzave t\u00eb saj.
\n\u201cUn\u00eb isha shkaku i vdekjes s\u00eb babait tuaj\u201d. Vajzat q\u00eb qanin nuk i than\u00eb gj\u00eb, e dinin t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn, q\u00eb ajo kishte vrar\u00eb baban\u00eb e tyre me ankimet e vazhdueshme, me z\u00ebnkat e p\u00ebrjetshme, me kritikat e saj n\u00eb \u00e7do moment!
\nTolstoi ishte romancieri m\u00eb i famsh\u00ebm i koh\u00ebs dhe librat e tij \u201cLufta dhe Paqa\u201d, \u201cAna Karenina\u201d, do t\u00eb mbeten t\u00eb pavdeksh\u00ebm. Jeta e tyre bashk\u00ebshortore kishte filluar shum\u00eb mir\u00eb, n\u00eb periudh\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb martes\u00ebs, por m\u00eb pas ndodhi di\u00e7ka e \u00e7uditshme.
\nTolstoi pak nga pak ndryshoi. Fillimisht u kthye n\u00eb dishepull, n\u00eb mbrojtje t\u00eb Krishtit, m\u00eb von\u00eb adhuronte tokat dhe p\u00eblqente jet\u00ebn e varf\u00ebr\u00eb. Jeta e Tolstoit ishte nj\u00eb tragjedi dhe shkak i k\u00ebsaj tragjedie ishte martesa. Gruaja e tij donte lluksin, Tolstoi e p\u00ebrbuzte.
\nAjo donte fam\u00ebn dhe vlesimin e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb, Tolstoi nuk interesohej p\u00ebr to. Gruaja e tij donte parat\u00eb dhe pasurin\u00eb, Tolstoi e konsideronte pasurin\u00eb dhe pron\u00ebn private nj\u00eb krim.
\nD\u00ebshira e tij e fundit ishte q\u00eb e shoqa t\u00eb mos afrohej pran\u00eb krevatit, ku po jepte shpirt. Ky ishte \u00e7mimi q\u00eb kontesha Tolstoi pagoi p\u00ebr heretizmin e saj, p\u00ebr grindjet, ankimet dhe kritikat e pafund.
\nNjer\u00ebiu nuk arrin as gj\u00eb me grindje dhe ankime, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 se shkat\u00ebrron lumturin e nd\u00ebrtuar. Dhe Abraham Linkolni nuk kishin asgj\u00eb t\u00eb ngjajshme me nj\u00ebri tjetrin. As edukimin, as temperamentin, as shijet, as mentalitetin. Zonja Linkoln kishte nj\u00eb xhelozi kaq t\u00eb tepruar q\u00eb
\nnuk pyestye ku ndodhej, por n\u00eb \u00e7do ambjent b\u00ebnte skandale publike. M\u00eb n\u00eb fund u mbyll n\u00eb \u00e7mendi. Kto jan\u00eb rezultatet q\u00eb zonja Linkoln, mbret\u00ebresha e
\nEugjenia dhe kontesha Tolstoi arrit\u00ebn me sjelljen e tyre. Nj\u00eb nga arsyet kryesore q\u00eb bashk\u00ebshorti braktis shtratin bashk\u00ebshortor jan\u00eb z\u00ebnkat dhe kritikat e vazhdueshme midis tyre. Mos u grindni dhe mos b\u00ebni kritika, q\u00eb t\u00eb keni nj\u00eb jet\u00eb familjare t\u00eb qet\u00eb. Evitoni sa t\u00eb jet\u00eb e mundur z\u00ebnkat dhe konfliktet midis jush. Asnj\u00ebri mos t\u00eb pretendoj\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb karakterin e bashk\u00ebshortes s\u00eb tij. N\u00eb shum\u00eb libra
\nflitet p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn e Dizarelit, politikanit anglez. Dizareli nuk dashuronte dhe u martua me nj\u00eb grua 30 vje\u00e7e m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe se veten.
\nGruaja zot\u00ebronte pasuri t\u00eb shumta dhe ishte nj\u00eb vejush\u00eb e pasur, por q\u00eb i mungonte kultura n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha deg\u00ebt, ama ishte mjeshtre n\u00eb trajtimin e burrave. Vejush\u00ebs nuk i shkoi kurr\u00eb n\u00eb mendje q\u00eb t\u00eb vihej n\u00eb gar\u00eb me gjenin\u00eb e t\u00eb shoqit, por kur ai vinte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, i lodhur dhe i
\nd\u00ebrrmuar nga debatet e tij brilante intelektuale, ishte i lumtur q\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetej n\u00eb prehrin e saj. Or\u00ebt q\u00eb kalonte me t\u00eb shoqen ishin or\u00eb t\u00eb qeta dhe n\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebrk\u00ebdhelit e saj ai i tregonte p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn n\u00eb parlament dhe ashtu duke treguar e zinte gjumi. Dizareli dhe kur e shoqa gabonte
\nnuk e kritiknte kurr\u00eb dhe n\u00ebse dikush e b\u00ebnte k\u00ebt\u00eb ai hidhej menj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb mbrojtje t\u00eb saj.
\nGj\u00ebja e par\u00eb q\u00eb duhet m\u00ebsuar n\u00eb marrdh\u00ebniet tona me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb ta l\u00ebm\u00eb q\u00eb secili t\u00eb jet\u00eb i lumtur sipas m\u00ebnyr\u00ebs s\u00eb tij apo t\u00eb saj, me kusht\u00eb q\u00eb mos t\u00eb na shkaktojn\u00eb ne d\u00ebme.
\nSuksesi i martes\u00ebs nuk varet vet\u00ebn n\u00eb gjetjen e personit t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatsh\u00ebm, por edhe, mbi t\u00eb gjitha, n\u00eb \u201cqenien\u201d person i p\u00ebrshtatsh\u00ebm.
\nMos pretendo t\u00eb duash t\u00eb ndryshosh karakterin e bashk\u00ebshortes t\u00ebnde! Shkak i prishjes s\u00eb martesave \u00ebsht\u00eb kritika e pam\u00ebshirshme dhe e panevojshme. Burri duhet t\u00eb dij\u00eb t\u00eb gjej\u00eb fjal\u00ebt e p\u00ebrshtatshme, t\u00eb shpreh vler\u00ebsimin p\u00ebr p\u00ebrpjekjet q\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb gruaja e tij p\u00ebr tu dukur e veshur sa m\u00eb mir\u00eb. Por, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb harrojm\u00eb se grat\u00eb e kan\u00eb dob\u00ebsi veshjen.
\nKur nj\u00eb gruaje 90 vje\u00e7are i treguan nj\u00eb fotografi q\u00eb kishte dal 30 vjet m\u00eb par\u00eb dhe shikimi i\u00a0 ishte dob\u00ebsuar shum\u00eb, pyetja q\u00eb b\u00ebri ishte se \u00e7far\u00eb fustani kisha veshur. Nj\u00eb burr i kujdessh\u00ebm duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb kujdes q\u00eb ti b\u00ebj\u00eb koplimenta gruas s\u00eb tij p\u00ebr veshjen dhe kolorin e ngjyrave q\u00eb zgjedh. Q\u00eb nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb jet\u00eb e lumtur ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb gjej\u00eb te bashk\u00ebshorti mir\u00ebnjohje dhe aprovim t\u00eb pakusht\u00ebzuar. B\u00ebj\u00eb sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb vler\u00ebsime dhe lavd\u00ebrime t\u00eb sinqerta! Ajo p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ka nevoj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb nj\u00eb grua p\u00ebr t\u00eb falur dashuri jan\u00eb lulet. Ato jan\u00eb quajtur gjuha e dashuris\u00eb.
\nGrat\u00eb i japin shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi festimit t\u00eb dat\u00eblindjeve apo p\u00ebrvjetoreve t\u00eb ndryshme. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nga misteret e natyr\u00ebs fem\u00ebrore. \u201cDashuria ndonj\u00eb her\u00eb shuhet p\u00ebr shum\u00eb voglsira\u201d.
\nXhesti i mir\u00ebsjelljes nxit shtimin e dashuris\u00eb midis part\u00ebnerve dhe nuk kan\u00eb p\u00ebrse t\u00eb presin t\u00eb nesrmen! Sjellja jo e mir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kanceri q\u00eb largon dashurin\u00eb. Mir\u00ebsjellja \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb cil\u00ebsi e domosdoshme p\u00ebr lumturin\u00eb e familjes, ashtu si kripa q\u00eb i hidhet gjell\u00ebs dhe i jep shijen e
\nduhur.
\nQ\u00eb jeta familjare t\u00eb jet\u00eb e qet\u00eb dhe marrdh\u00ebniet t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb mira nj\u00eb burr duhet ta puth gruan e tij n\u00eb buz\u00eb dhe n\u00eb sy, q\u00eb ta b\u00ebj\u00eb memece dhe t\u00eb verb\u00ebr dhe ti lavd\u00ebroi fustanin q\u00eb ka veshur q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb harroj pretendimet……
\nTIRAN\u00cb, 18\/11\/2025<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bashkim Saliasi KRITIKA, ARMA Q\u00cb VRET, BUZ\u00cbQESHJA \u00cbSHT\u00cb AJO, Q\u00cb T\u00cb B\u00cbN T\u00cb LUMTUR N\u00cb JET\u00cb T\u00eb kritikosh t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb veprim i men\u00e7ur. Kritika nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb veprim i men\u00e7ur sepse e shtyn ata q\u00eb kritikon, t\u00eb mbrohet dhe t\u00eb justifikohet, \u00ebsht\u00eb e rrezikshme sepse prek te njeriu, q\u00eb kritikon krenarin dhe krijon pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3134,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinione"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3668"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3668\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3670,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3668\/revisions\/3670"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}