{"id":4155,"date":"2026-04-10T11:04:16","date_gmt":"2026-04-10T10:04:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/?p=4155"},"modified":"2026-04-10T11:04:16","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T10:04:16","slug":"gladiola-jorbus-biseda-qe-nuk-mbaron-kurre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/2026\/04\/10\/gladiola-jorbus-biseda-qe-nuk-mbaron-kurre\/","title":{"rendered":"Gladiola\u00a0 Jorbus-Biseda q\u00eb nuk mbaron kurr\u00eb"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gladiola\u00a0 Jorbus<\/strong>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Biseda q\u00eb nuk mbaron kurr\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ai ishte fotograf me profesion<\/strong>, por n\u00eb thelb ishte d\u00ebshmitar i bot\u00ebs. Kishte fotografuar n\u00eb savan\u00eb, mes drit\u00ebs s\u00eb ashp\u00ebr dhe heshtjes s\u00eb pafund, n\u00eb zona t\u00eb ndryshme klimatike ku natyra ndryshonte fytyr\u00eb si nj\u00eb njeri i lodhur, dhe n\u00eb luft\u00eb, aty ku \u00e7do imazh kishte pesh\u00ebn e nj\u00eb jete. Kishte par\u00eb urin\u00eb drejt e n\u00eb sy, frik\u00ebn n\u00eb duar q\u00eb dridheshin, shpres\u00ebn q\u00eb mbijetonte edhe n\u00ebn rr\u00ebnoja. Nuk fotografonte thjesht p\u00ebr t\u00eb treguar, por p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbajtur mend. Dhe pik\u00ebrisht sepse kishte par\u00eb kaq shum\u00eb, dinte t\u00eb dallonte menj\u00ebher\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb ishte e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, edhe kur ishte vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb, e padukshme, por e pamohueshme. Fliste disa gjuh\u00eb, por m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti zot\u00ebronte at\u00eb q\u00eb nuk m\u00ebsohet: gjuh\u00ebn e v\u00ebmendjes. Dinte si t\u00eb shihte, si t\u00eb ndalej n\u00eb \u00e7do detaj t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe ta shnd\u00ebrronte at\u00eb n\u00eb kryevep\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

Ajo ishte psikologe.<\/strong>\u00a0E sakt\u00eb n\u00eb mendim, e matur n\u00eb fjal\u00eb. Dinte t\u00eb d\u00ebgjonte p\u00ebrtej asaj q\u00eb thuhej, t\u00eb interpretonte nuancat e heshtjes, t\u00eb lexonte frik\u00ebn q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit p\u00ebrpiqeshin t\u00eb fshihnin, edhe nga vetja. Kishte kaluar mjaftuesh\u00ebm n\u00eb jet\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u mashtruar leht\u00eb nga intensiteti i menj\u00ebhersh\u00ebm. E dinte q\u00eb ndjenjat e forta shpesh nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb thella, jan\u00eb thjesht t\u00eb pap\u00ebrpunuara. P\u00ebr vite me radh\u00eb kishte nd\u00ebrtuar nj\u00eb bot\u00eb t\u00eb q\u00ebndrueshme, me kufij t\u00eb qart\u00eb, ku gjith\u00e7ka kishte vendin e vet dhe emocionet nuk e tejkalonin arsyen. Ishte m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb ishte ajo q\u00eb mban ekuilibrin, ajo q\u00eb nuk l\u00ebkundet. Por pik\u00ebrisht kjo e b\u00ebnte m\u00eb t\u00eb pambrojtur p\u00ebrball\u00eb di\u00e7kaje q\u00eb nuk k\u00ebrkonte t\u00eb kuptohej, vet\u00ebm t\u00eb ndihej.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb dy t\u00eb martuar. T\u00eb dy t\u00eb rritur. T\u00eb dy\u2026 t\u00eb sigurt q\u00eb nuk kishin m\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb rrezikshme.<\/p>\n

Ai i shkroi i pari Filloi si loj\u00eb. Nj\u00eb mesazh i zgjuar. Pastaj nj\u00eb kompliment. Pastaj nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, m\u00eb i sakt\u00eb, m\u00eb i personalizuar. Love bombing…<\/p>\n

– Ti nuk flet. Ti dep\u00ebrton.
\n– Ka nj\u00eb qet\u00ebsi tek ty q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e zakonshme.
\n– Nuk m\u00eb ndodh shpesh, t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj dik\u00eb dy her\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ajo e kuptoi menj\u00ebher\u00eb. E kishte studiuar k\u00ebt\u00eb model. Intensitet i shpejt\u00eb, af\u00ebrsi e krijuar me fjal\u00eb.<\/p>\n

– Mos e b\u00ebj k\u00ebt\u00eb, – i shkroi.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb? – vazhdoi ai.<\/p>\n

– K\u00ebt\u00eb\u2026 q\u00eb duket m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa \u00ebsht\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ai nuk u t\u00ebrhoq, por nuk mbeti sip\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsor. Filloi t\u00eb fliste p\u00ebr libra n\u00eb gjuh\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshme, p\u00ebr muzik\u00eb q\u00eb nuk d\u00ebgjohej leht\u00eb, p\u00ebr njer\u00ebz q\u00eb kishte fotografuar, p\u00ebr histori q\u00eb lexoheshin n\u00eb syt\u00eb e viktimave. I d\u00ebrgonte k\u00ebng\u00eb n\u00eb mesnat\u00eb, mendime t\u00eb pap\u00ebrfunduara, si t\u00eb donte t\u00eb vazhdonte nj\u00eb bised\u00eb q\u00eb nuk mbaronte kurr\u00eb. Nuk ishte vet\u00ebm v\u00ebmendje. Ishte cil\u00ebsi.<\/p>\n

Dhe kjo e \u00e7armatosi. Ajo nuk donte, luftonte me veten, por filloi t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjej.<\/p>\n

Fillimisht me kujdes. Pastaj me interes.\u00a0Pastaj me nj\u00eb lloj pritjeje q\u00eb nuk ia pranonte vetes.<\/p>\n

Dhe pa e kuptuar\u2026 u krijua di\u00e7ka.\u00a0Jo trup. Jo takim. Jo prekje.<\/p>\n

Mori hov nj\u00eb lidhje q\u00eb jetonte vet\u00ebm dhe ekskluzivisht n\u00eb fjal\u00eb. Virtuale. Por e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb.<\/p>\n

M\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra q\u00eb jetoheshin fizikisht.<\/p>\n

Bisedat e tyre nuk kishin as fillim e as fund. Kalonin nga filozofia te jeta e p\u00ebrditshme, nga ironia te rr\u00ebfimet e vogla intime q\u00eb nuk i thuhen askujt. Dhe bashk\u00eb me to\u2026 erdhi ankthi.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb e ngusht\u00eb, si nj\u00eb frym\u00ebmarrje q\u00eb nuk plot\u00ebsohej kurr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ajo filloi ta ndjent gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shpesh.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb pritjen e mesazhit.
\nN\u00eb boshll\u00ebkun kur ai nuk shkruante.
\nN\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn si dita i organizohej rreth nj\u00eb pranie q\u00eb nuk ekzistonte fizikisht.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb normale, – i tha nj\u00eb nat\u00eb.
\n– Ndoshta sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, – u p\u00ebrgjigj ai.<\/p>\n

Dhe ai, q\u00eb kishte nisur si loj\u00eb\u2026 nuk po luante m\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ai kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb. T\u00eb pashmangshme.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb dashuri.<\/p>\n

Ajo u p\u00ebrpoq t\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqej.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Nuk dua k\u00ebt\u00eb, – i tha.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0– As un\u00eb nuk doja,- tha ai.\u00a0Por ja ku jemi.<\/p>\n

Ishte e pamundur t\u00eb takoheshin. Jo vet\u00ebm fizikisht, por moralisht mbi t\u00eb gjitha. \u00c7do hap drejt nj\u00ebri-tjetrit, do t\u00eb thoshte nj\u00eb rr\u00ebzim diku tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

Dhe megjithat\u00eb\u2026 ata ishin aty.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb lidhur. T\u00eb rob\u00ebruar. Nga di\u00e7ka q\u00eb nuk kishin prekur kurr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Pastaj, nj\u00eb nat\u00eb, ai i shkroi:<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0S\u2019t\u00eb shkruaj dot m\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Asnj\u00eb shpjegim. Asnj\u00eb sqarim. Vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb fjali.<\/p>\n

Mesazhet pushuan s\u00eb ekzistuari. Biseda mbeti pezull, e nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb n\u00eb mes t\u00eb nj\u00eb mendimi.<\/p>\n

Ajo nuk e kuptoi menj\u00ebher\u00eb. Fillimisht mendoi se ai ishte i z\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim nd\u00ebrkontinental. Se do t\u00eb kthehej. Se ishte thjesht nj\u00eb vones\u00eb. Pastaj\u2026 e kuptoi.<\/p>\n

Heshtja ishte p\u00ebrgjigjja.<\/p>\n

Dhe ajo heshtje\u2026 peshonte m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se \u00e7do fjal\u00eb, se \u00e7do gur kalldr\u00ebmi, se \u00e7do parim a norn\u00eb socialel q\u00eb i ndante.<\/p>\n

Kaluan shum\u00eb or\u00eb. M\u00eb pas dit\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra. Kurse jav\u00ebt u b\u00ebn\u00eb muaj, t\u00eb send\u00ebrtuar n\u00eb vite. Plot pes\u00eb vite.<\/p>\n

Jeta vazhdoi qet\u00ebsisht. Por disa gj\u00ebra nuk mbyllen.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm mbeten pezull.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, pa asnj\u00eb paralajm\u00ebrim, ai i shkroi s\u00ebrish.<\/p>\n

Jo me shpjegime. Jo me justifikime.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm:<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0E mban mend at\u00eb q\u00eb po thoshe at\u00eb nat\u00eb?<\/p>\n

Ajo e lexoi.<\/p>\n

Dhe di\u00e7ka u kthye n\u00eb vend\u2026 si nj\u00eb der\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ishte mbyllur kurr\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht.<\/p>\n

Ajo nuk pyeti \u201cpse\u201d.
\nNuk pyeti \u201cku ishe\u201d.<\/p>\n

U p\u00ebrgjigj:<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Po. Nuk e p\u00ebrfundova kurr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Dhe biseda vazhdoi.<\/p>\n

Si t\u00eb mos kishte kaluar asnj\u00eb dit\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Si nj\u00eb fjali e l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebrgjysm\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Pa dram\u00eb. Pa shpjegime. Pa k\u00ebrkesa.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm ajo ndjesia e njohur\u2026 e ndaluar.<\/p>\n

Sepse mbi t\u00eb gjitha, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb ndodh, kur je i rritur, i pjekur, i sprovuar nga sfidat e jet\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

Nuk bie n\u00eb dashuri si m\u00eb par\u00eb. Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb shp\u00ebrthim.<\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb njohje. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb qet\u00ebsi q\u00eb t\u00eb kap thell\u00eb. Nj\u00eb lidhje q\u00eb nuk ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb provoj\u00eb asgj\u00eb. Nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb zot\u00ebroj\u00eb, por t\u00eb ekzistoj\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ndoshta p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye\u2026 \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e rrezikshme. Sepse e kupton sakt\u00ebsisht \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb.\u00a0Dhe megjithat\u00eb\u2026 nuk e shuan dot. Vet\u00ebm e shmang.<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gladiola\u00a0 Jorbus\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Biseda q\u00eb nuk mbaron kurr\u00eb Ai ishte fotograf me profesion, por n\u00eb thelb ishte d\u00ebshmitar i bot\u00ebs. Kishte fotografuar n\u00eb savan\u00eb, mes drit\u00ebs s\u00eb ashp\u00ebr dhe heshtjes s\u00eb pafund, n\u00eb zona t\u00eb ndryshme klimatike ku natyra ndryshonte fytyr\u00eb si nj\u00eb njeri i lodhur, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3971,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-proze"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4155"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4156,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4155\/revisions\/4156"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3971"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/migjeni.se\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}